Mr. SMB : Hello, yes I will take the call from the President
President Trump: Hi, Mr. SMB I understand you have a small business in Nebraska. How did that beautiful small business loan work out for you?
Mr. SMB: Thank you, Mr. President. We just received our check yesterday. Monday I will cut checks for my seven employees. Came just in time,
President Trump: That’s great. So, when are you opening up your business?
Mr. SMB: Well that could be some time. You see, my employees are scared of coming into work fearing getting infected? They asked to be tested along with everyone we do business with.
President Trump: So what is the problem? I am told we have more tests than any other country? And, our tests are wonderful!
We watch you every day, but we still do not see what you promised. We even went to our Walmart, but there was no testing there. The other problem, Mr. President, is that we are a small business that services and rebuilds irrigation pumps. We cannot get parts because our three suppliers are in other states that are under lockdown. Our salespeople have gone out to the farmers, but they are not allowed into their homes. The farmer is not sure these salesmen have been tested. They have not.
President Trump yelling: Can someone please pick this call, I am done.
Mr. SMB: Mr. President, Mr President, are you still there? I just wanted to end by telling you that without parts or customers my business will not survive, especially when I cannot make payroll in two months.
President Trump : (epithet) hangs up.